Midweek Musing- 10/9/24

One of the things music does is take us back in time to memories. For most if not all of us there are certain pieces of music, certain songs, and lyrics that take us back to old memories.

Sometimes these memories are of particular events. Sometimes we are whisked off to other places. Sometimes they are recollections of people. And almost always they bring about an emotion – many times it is actually a range of emotions.

In recent months this has been happening to me with a particular song by a one hit wonder from an early 1970s band who called themselves Looking Glass. Each time I have heard their song “Brandy’ which is better known as “You’re a Fine Girl,” I have been transported back to Smythe Dorm at Presbyterian College where a friend of mine named Bobby Erwin would sing the song to a friend of ours named Brandy.

On the chorus many of us would join is as he played his acoustic guitar. “Brandy you’re a fine girl, what a good wife you would be…”

Bobby and I also did a pretty good rendition of a bag pipe with him serving as the drone and I would hum – I guess what you’d call it the melody. Today we might have even taken our skills to America’s Got Talent!

Sadly, Bobby passed away from colon cancer in December 2021. He had long ago moved to Vermont but periodically we would run into each other in Montreat, NC at some conference or another.

So last week I was home alone and listening to random music while reading news and looking at social media on my iPad. I was scrolling through pictures of the devastation Hurricane Helene had brought to Presbyterian College and Montreat when “Brandy” began playing on my speakers.

Before I knew it, I was bawling. Not crying a bit but full on weeping. I cried for the loss of my classmate and friend. I had not done that prior to this moment.

I wept for the devastation in Montreat and at Presbyterian College and Black Mountain and so many other places from an area of the world where I once lived. Places that have brought such wonderful memories and which I still love. Before long I was remembering others lost.

I started to fight back the tears, to push down the grief. I was struggling with this, and frankly being unsuccessful at it, when I remembered that scripture proclaims there is a time to cry. It occurred to me that in the face of loss and devastation and the despair it brings, mourning is certainly an appropriate response.

And while unfortunately some still try to say, “men don’t or shouldn’t cry.” However, scripture tells us that Jesus himself wept and shed tears during his time on earth.

The truth is sadness and loss, grief and mourning are part of life’s experience. All of us go through these experiences. Indeed, when we share not just our joys but also our hurts, community is actually strengthened.

Now I am not saying we need to live and stay in this grief. Living in that place is not healthy. But avoiding these feelings is also certainly not healthy.

As the Psalmist declares “sorrow may last the night, but joy comes in the morning.”

To appreciate joys, we must at times experience pain. Of course, we live in a world which encourages us to avoid, ignore or even numb pain. Such actions damage our body and soul, in part because we are stuck in our sad memories and unable to fully remember the joy we experienced.

I mention all of this because as a people of faith we should model good grief and great joy. We should allow folks to comfort and support us when we need it, and we should provide support to others when they are struggling. Writer Gareth Higgins has said the two rules for community are for us to bring what we can offer and ask for what we need.

Friends, may we have the strength to weep and mourn, and then may we have the courage to embrace joy and share love.

In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Alleluia Amen.