Midweek Musing- 2/12/2025

Choosing Love Over Fear

“For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” – 2 Timothy 1:7

Fear is a powerful force. It creeps in and around us all the time. It shows up every time we face uncertainty. When we worry about the future, fear whispers worst-case scenarios in our ears. It tells us to hold on to our resources for fear of scarcity. It tells us to hold back our concerns for others. It causes us to mute our cries for justice. It tells us to limit our mercy and even limit our love. Fear tells us to do these things so we might avoid criticism, ridicule, or exclusion.

As one anonymous writer once wrote, “Fear tempts us to compromise who we are for the sake of comfort or perceived safety. And often, we give in to that temptation even when we know we are letting fear win.”

Friends, fear is just that powerful.

Franklin Roosevelt tried to point out that fear really has no power when he told America and the world, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” But even Roosevelt was fearful of the nation knowing the full extent of his disability from polio—an illness that, thanks to the science of vaccines, has nearly been eliminated.

Now, as many of you know, I listen to a great many podcasts across multiple genres and from a variety of voices. In a recent episode of the podcast Death, Sex, and Money, I heard a story that illustrates the struggle fear can cause. This particular story was a battle between fear and truth.

The episode was entitled “A Trans Parent’s Adoption Journey.” In it, a couple shared their experience navigating the adoption process. One spouse is a trans man, the other a woman, and together, they longed to grow their family. When they began working with an adoption agency, they were given a difficult choice: Should they disclose their full identities in their adoption profile, knowing it might mean a longer wait? Or should they omit certain details, making it easier for expectant mothers to consider them as adoptive parents?

It would have been easy to give in to fear—to stay silent, to present only a version of themselves they assumed would be more widely accepted. Frankly, the idea of a same-sex couple might have been more palatable to many than a transgender couple. (I am not saying I agree with this line of thinking at all, but the reality of how the majority of folks in our nation feel is simply the facts as we see in numbers from recent surveys of American viewpoints.)

Now, the agency’s advice to avoid full disclosure wasn’t ill-intentioned; it was pragmatic. The world often struggles with difference and playing it safe might have led to a quicker adoption. But the couple believed that truth mattered, that honesty was important. Their identities weren’t just a small detail to be set aside for convenience—this was who they were, and who they would be as a family.

So, they went against the agency’s advice and told the truth.

To their surprise, the wait was not long at all. A mother read their profile and chose them precisely because of their honesty. She saw their commitment to radical acceptance and knew that was the kind of home she wanted for her child. She recognized that people who had done the hard work of embracing themselves would also know how to embrace her baby with that same kind of love.

I was moved by both the adoptive couple and the mother who was placing her child for adoption.

After the episode, I found myself asking a nagging question: How often do I let fear dictate my decisions?

Does fear ever dictate some of your decisions as well?

I wonder how often do we hide parts of who we are and what we believe because we worry about rejection.

Fear can even tell us that truth and full honesty will cost too much.

But Scripture reminds us that fear is not from God. Paul writes boldly in 2 Timothy, “For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7).

We are called to trust that when we walk in love, when we choose truth, when we step out in faith and choose to do the good that is ours to do—even though it may be hard—God will be with us every step of the way.

In Psalm 139, we are reminded that we are fearfully and wonderfully made—not in pieces, not just the parts we think others will approve of, but in full. God’s love for us is not conditional. It is not based on our ability to conform or to make ourselves more comfortable for others. If that is true for us, then it must also be true for how we love others.

This is the kind of love Jesus calls us to—a love that, as we hear in 1 John 4:18, casts out fear. It is a love that welcomes the stranger, a love that builds bridges, a love that welcomes home the rebellious son, a love that cares even for our enemies. It is a love that conquers fear and even says to death itself, “Where, O death, is your sting?”

And as this story reminds us, when we choose love over fear, we open ourselves up to blessings far beyond our expectations.

May we have the courage to be who God has created us to be. May we trust that the truth is always worth telling. And may we remember that love—the kind of love that sees, accepts, and embraces—is always stronger than fear.

In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Alleluia. Amen.